You Could Be Happy
by jukeboxjunkiee
Summary: She thought she had everything in her hands, had the entire world in front of her. What will she do when she finds out everything she's ever worked for is gone? Will she ever get her happy ending? The land of make believe doesn't want to leave her alone.
1. Prologue

**For all the sad words of tongue and pen,**

**The saddest are these, **

**'It might have been'**

**-John Greenleaf Whittier**

**Prologue**

My world was burning, crashing really. Nothing made sense anymore. I needed to leave, to clear my head. I didn't what I was doing. He found someone new. He didn't love me anymore. He didn't want to love me.

I knew that someone would capture his heart more than I ever could, but I didn't think it would be so soon. He wouldn't, couldn't, love anymore.

Deep down, I knew awhile ago I would give him up. I couldn't hold him back from being happy. I knew he loved me more than anything at the time. That was never in question, but I regularly questioned myself – did I love him? I didn't know that answer to that until today, right now.

"_Bella, I imprinted. I'm sorry. You know I can't control that."_

He was apologizing to me about imprinting! How could he do that? He had his entire life in front of him now. A reason for life, air to breathe. He didn't need me. No one did.

It seemed ironic, though, that just days before I was considering breaking up with him. I couldn't lead him on anymore. I didn't love him like that. I needed him the sun, but he didn't need me at all.

I couldn't handle it. He could be happy, I don't know, but he looked miserable walking out the door that day. Everything I said to him, every love you too, every come on, let's do something, every goodbye ran through my head all at the same time. He wasn't happy with me. He never was. I think.

"_I love you, Bella. I know you don't feel the same, but I needed to tell you."_

I could've told him the truth, I loved him too, but he would know it wasn't the same type of love. I always wished I had a claim on him, something to keep him in my life forever. I didn't have anything now.

Was it too late to show him how happy we both were? Or was he happier with _her_? I said her name with jealousy. I was jealous; she had my sun, my life, and my sanity in her hands. I didn't think she knew how well she had it.

The last few days were nothing. He didn't talk and I didn't ask. I knew something was off. I just didn't know how off. Nothing was right between us.

"_No, Bella, don't go. I need you here. I want you here."_

He didn't need me. He didn't want me. He had her. Everything that had happened between us meant nothing now. Every time I came home crying, nothing would help me except him. Now, when I needed him most, when he caused this, he wasn't here.

If I had just stopped him, just taken the time to listen to him, maybe he would be here. Maybe he would realize he needed me still. I should've stopped him. I should've kept him from walking.

But he should be happy. All those times he made me happy, all those times he dedicated his time to me. He should have his happy ending. He's made me happier than ever, shouldn't I want that for him, too?

"_I love you. I always will, no matter what happens. Remember that, Bella, and be safe."_

How could I be safe? When I had nothing to be safe for? When everything was gone? When he was gone? Jacob…

**SONG: You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol**


	2. Worth It?

**Love, like a river,  
****Will cut a new path  
Whenever it meets an obstacle.  
- Crystal Middlemas -**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, only the plot. Sorry to disappoint everyone. ; ). Check out my other story Love Never Hurt So Much.**

I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you either try to run but you can't or you're running as fast as you can but you're not getting anywhere. I couldn't decide. Jacob was reaching for me on one side, calling to me. I was running towards him as fast as I could, the scenery blowing past me. He seemed to be getting closer and closer, only something on the side I was running from was holding me back. Something was keeping me from closing the short distance between Jacob and me and I didn't know what it was.

"Bella, wake up! Bella, can you hear me?" I was pulled out of my dream by his voice.

"Jake? You there?" I asked without opening my eyes. I didn't have the energy to do anything.

"It's okay, sweetie, you just had a nightmare. Want to talk?" No I didn't want to talk. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I knew it was futile. It seemed like I would never get a good night's sleep again.

"No. I'm fine." I spoke with short answers, still keeping my eyes closed. I was afraid of what I might find when I opened them. I wondered if Jacob would still be the same. Would he become the Jacob I had seen in my dreams? I didn't want to know right now. "I just…." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish. I just what? Don't know what I'm feeling? Don't know what you're feeling? Don't understand what the hell happened in my dream?

"It's ok, Bella. You're awake now. Nothing's going to hurt you." Hurt. That's what I was looking for. That dream seemed to show me that something was going to hurt me, to rip me into two pieces at the same time. I just didn't know what.

"I know that. I don't remember it that well anyway." He didn't need to know about the internal battle that was going on in my head.

"I'm always here for you, if want to talk. I hope you know that." Of course I knew that. How many times had he told me that he was always going to take care of me? Too many to count, that's for sure.

"I think I lost count of how many times you've told me that, Jake. Can we get something to eat? I'm starving." As if on cue, my stomach gave an embarrassing rumble. I blushed and Jacob chuckled.

"Sure. I could use some food." He helped me out of the bed and carried me downstairs.

"I do have my own legs. I learned how to walk."

"Not very well. You could trip over nothing and I don't feel like going to the emergency room today."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I've been getting better." I could actually walk down the stairs and not trip now. Some people thought that was really funny, I on the other hand, thought it was an improvement.

"Sure, sure. What are your plans for today?" I hadn't thought about it. I had nothing to do that was actually fun, some piling up homework, chores, but nothing worth doing.

"I'll probably stay here, clean up a little, finish some things. What about you?"

"Got to go to the garage today. Paul phased in my car and it almost exploded." Oh, yeah. I forgot. Jake was a werewolf. I didn't know how that happened, but it seemed to cause minor problems daily, like Jake running out of sneakers. I didn't mind it too much. He was still human. "Ruined my entire backseat! I just upholstered it last week!" He seemed like he was talking more to himself than to me.

"Well at least it gave you something to work on. You love working on cars, and now you have the perfect excuse to be in your garage all day long. You should be thanking Paul." I added the last part sarcastically, not thinking he would say anything about it.

"Yeah, thank him for ruining everything. My car, my clothes! Billy said this was my last pair of shoes for now. I don't what I'd do if Paul got to them again, maybe go barefoot for awhile."

"Okay, okay. I get it. Just be grateful it wasn't something else he broke. I don't think you would like it too much, even if you do heal fast." I couldn't understand how he healed so fast. In the morning he would have a broken arm, then by lunch you would think nothing was wrong with him.

"You're right. I don't like having to sit still while they heal. There are better things I could be doing." By now we were cleaning up the kitchen, breakfast over and forgotten. I moved into the living room.

"Yes there are, like getting your parts. Jacob, it's Sunday. The shop closes at 3, right?" He nodded in response. "And getting there takes an hour. Port Angeles is pretty far away and I don't think you want to wait until next weekend to start working on your precious Rabbit. And I think you want to make it home before midnight."

"Okay, okay. I'll go." He headed towards the door. "Bye Bells. See you soon." He leaned forward to give me a hug. Jake knew not to push the limits. I hugged him back, not really wanting to let him go just yet.

He walked out the door, borrowing my old Chevy truck that his dad had given me when Jake finished his Rabbit. I remembered that day clearly.

_"Come in!" I shouted, not really bothering to look who it was. Probably Billy and Jake. I didn't know why they were there._

"_Hey Bella. Ready to go?" Mike walked through the doors into the living room. Go? Where did I tell him I would go today? Oh! The movies! Darn, I had totally forgotten about that._

"_Oh, hey Mike. Just give me a minute and I'll be right back down." I ran upstairs; lucky I didn't trip on the steps. I was looking around for my rarely used purse. Where was everything when you needed it? After about five minutes of stumbling around, I thought I looked pretty good and went downstairs._

"_Sorry Mike. I couldn't find something." No need to tell him I couldn't find everything._

"_That's okay. We should get going now. The movie starts in 30 minutes." He opened the front door for me and led me outside, where, unannounced, was Jacob and his newly finished Volkswagen Rabbit._

"_Jake? What are you doing here?" I looked over at Mike. He didn't look to happy that Jake was here, but pleased that I didn't expect him._

"_I was just coming over to tell you I finished my Rabbit, but I think you have other plans." Those plans originally included many other people going to the movies, but either they got sick or Lauren got to them._

"_No it's okay. We were just headed to the movies. You should come with us. That's okay, right, Mike?" I knew he wouldn't say no._

"_Sure. Let's go." He started to go towards his car._

"_Is it okay if we take my car? I only got to drive it the 10 miles here and I wanted to try it out some more." His first drive was to my house? How…sweet._

"_Sure. Let's go."_

I remember that trip ending with Mike getting sick and almost puking in Jake's new car. The night he found out he was a werewolf. The night he left for a few weeks because Sam had said he couldn't see me.

I didn't know what brought it on, but I suddenly felt sad. Jake was always gone for his pack doing wolfy things I didn't want to know about. I liked it better when we were both human, when we both were oblivious to the dangers of the real world. I thought that life couldn't get any better. I had Jake as a best friend, Angela too. School was okay and Mike was always there. There was nothing missing, nothing out of place.

But when Jake came over at midnight just to ask me to guess he was a werewolf, I thought he was mentally deranged. I thought Sam and his gang had put him up to this and it was all some cruel, twisted joke. I never, in a million years, thought it would change my life forever.

It put my life into perspective. I could lose everything in a minute. Jake had told me once about imprinting, how no one could control it. Sam and Emily. Jared and Kim. Paul and Rachel. They had all found their significant others. Jake had me, but I wasn't an imprint. I knew that if he did find his, I wouldn't have anything left. Jake would be gone. I didn't know how I would deal with that, or how Billy and the other elders would deal with it.

I knew their secret. I wouldn't tell anyone of course. Who would believe me? They would think I tripped and landed on my head one to many times and send me to the hospital or the nut house. Naturally, I wouldn't tell anyone. They all meant so much to me, that even if someone could believe me, I don't think I would ever tell anyone. It was a secret I felt bound to protect, like loyalty, even if it wasn't my secret.

That's what Jake had told me when he said he couldn't tell me anything about what was going on. At the time, I didn't understand what he was talking about. Did I know someone's secret and wasn't allowed to tell anyone? Now that I was inside the circle, I knew exactly what he meant.

The story wasn't for me to tell anyone. It was something I would keep hidden in a drawer and forget about one day. I never thought the land of make believe would follow me everywhere I went.

**SONG: I'll Never Stop Loving You by Britney Spears**

****Note Bella doesn't know Edward exists… yet. There are still 'fictional' characters in the story though** Review please! Should I continue?**


	3. My Sun Has Set

I don't think you realize how much you love something until you have to give it up.  
~LoneStar~

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sorry for any spelling/typing mistakes. I don't have a beta to help me, yet.**

Something wasn't right. Something was off. Something was going to get in me in trouble. I think it has something to do with Jake and his car. Ever since he came back from getting his parts, he's hasn't been the same.

No more "I love you, Bella's", no more "I know you don't feel the same", and no more awkward almost-kisses. He hadn't tried once to kiss or hug me in the past week. I didn't know what his deal was. Did Paul finally push Jake too far? Did he snap at Sam? Was he fed up with being part of the pack?

"_Bye Bells, see you later."_

I just hoped he was okay and that we could still be friends. He didn't seem like he even wanted to be friends anymore. Maybe he had thought things through and finally realized I wasn't good enough for him. Maybe he thought that I was serious about not being able to give him what he needed. I was okay with that. I've told him again and again and now he's realized.

I don't think I had a problem with that yet. If he didn't want to be here, why should I make him stay? He had his own free will. He had has his own life. Maybe one day his life would include someone who could give him so much more than I ever could.

I dropped the plate I didn't realize I'd been holding. Someone. Imprint. Not me. Did he really find his other half? At the auto repair shop? I vaguely remember thinking that whoever it was that he imprinted on wouldn't be good enough for him. I would have to see for myself who she was. I doubted that anyone could deserve Jacob. He was amazing, perfect in every way.

I just hoped that she knew what she was getting into. But now that Jake had someone to share his life with, where would that leave me? I didn't relate well to the other guys in the pack. They didn't really like me because I was the exception to the only rule they had ever created. Never tell anyone our secret. Technically, no one told me. I guessed it right when I was half sleep-deprived. I hardly think that counts.

Now Jake had someone to share everything with. Would I go my own way? Leave Forks maybe? I thought about that. I hadn't seen my mother in a while. She might be glad if I visited her in Florida. But I had gotten used to the cold weather here. I didn't want to move anywhere else.

"Honey, I know you don't like the cold. Why don't you move back here with me and Phil?"

Phil. Part of the reason I had exiled myself to Forks in the first place. Since my mother remarried, she was happy with Phil. He wasn't a bad guy, but his job, a minor league baseball player, cause him to have to move a around a lot. Mom had always offered to stay home with me so I wouldn't be alone. She always would, even though I knew she didn't like being far away from Phil.

That was when I came up with the entire "I want to go to Forks" thing. If only I knew what I was getting myself into.

"No, Mom. I want to go. You and Phil will be fine without me here."

That didn't change the fact I wouldn't be fine without them here. Charlie was an easy person to live with, do the cooking and help straighten the house, then you're free to do whatever you want.

Which led me right back to becoming friends with Jake. Obviously, we were both human when I met him, so there were no complications, but as time went on Sam and his little gang started looking at him as if they were waiting for him or something. I knew Jake was scared, but I didn't think we would 'cross-over' that quickly.

So here I was, alone on a Saturday night, waiting for Jake to call, again. How many times had I done this? I didn't think it was healthy. I got up off the couch, throwing on my old boots and a jacket. I got halfway out the door when I realized I had Charlie to worry about.

I ran back inside and left an illegible note on the counter explaining where I was and how to find dinner. After I finished, I raced back out to car, not sure what the hurry was, and drove towards Jake's house. My loud truck announced my arrival before I could. Though the truck was loud enough to wake anyone up that was inside, no one came out. All the lights were on and the front window was open.

"I don't know right now, Dad. She'll be mad for sure. I don't think I want to tell her."

_ "Sam won't let me tell you."_

"You didn't want to tell her your secret either. Or the fact that you loved her and barely know her." I had thought they were talking about me until I heard the part 'barely know her' Jake and I had been best friends since I could remember.

I stormed out of the car, not bothering to close the door. "Billy, open the door. I can hear you in there." I pounded the door with m fists until Jacob, looking weary eyed and miserable, opened up.

"Hey Bella. What are you doing here?" What was I doing here? I wanted to see if Jake was still alive, to make myself believe that I was just letting my fears get the best of me.

"Seeing if you're still alive. Where have you been? I called almost ten times and no one answered." I'd sat by the phone waiting for it to ring. Every half hour it didn't, I thought about calling but thought better of it.

"Oh. Well I've been kind of busy. Things around here have been getting pretty crazy." He didn't look up from his feet.

"Cut the crap, Jake. Where is she? I want to meet her." He looked at me for the first time since I walked up here. His face said he didn't expect me to know anything about that.

"W-Wh-What are you talking about?" He stuttered out.

"Where's the lucky girl? I want to see if she's good enough for you." I regretted it as soon as I said it.

"She's perfect. Of course she's good enough, too good even. That's the problem. You're all too good." He muttered the last part to himself.

"Do I get to meet her? I think I should." My brave voice didn't seem to be matching the emotions I was feeling inside.

"Sure. She's in my garage. You know the way." I walked out the back door, headed into the darkness that was Jake's garage.

"Jake? That you?" A high pitched voice called out.

"No. It's his friend, Bella. I wanted to meet you." I still couldn't see her, so I had no clue what she looked like.

"Oh! So you're the famous Bella he won't stop talking about?" She walked under the only light in the garage and I could see her face. She was beautiful; brown eyes the same as mine, bronze ringlets framing her face. "My name's Renesmee, but you can call me Nessie."

"So…" it was awkward, now that we were past the point of introductions. I was still hidden in the dark.

"Why don't you come over and we can talk? I actually want to be able to see you." She joked. How could she be taking this so… so coolly? I would've wanted to run for my life if some werewolf told me he wanted to spend forever with me and that I had no choice in the matter. "Do you mind….you know…me and Jake?"

Did I mind? Was it really her that was bothering me? "No, I don't mind. I'm happy for him. He has you. I've seen him all of two minutes and I can tell." I could. The way she was in his thoughts the entire time. She was his Juliet and I was Paris. I remembered how Paris ended up. They fight. Paris falls, but I wasn't going to fight. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't suicidal.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know he's your best friend." She was a good person. She deserved him more than I ever did.

"Completely sure. You make him happy." Like I never could. "I hope he makes you happy too." She started to say something, but Jake's voice cut her off.

"Nessie? You there? Bella?" I was an afterthought now. Of course. He walked into the garage and looked around for her. His eyes were so full of love. I couldn't handle it. My emotions were about to get the better of me. "Oh. There you are. I see you met Bella already."

"Yeah, I just got to say before you came in."

"Oh. Well you guys can talk. I'll be inside." He started to turn around.

"No, Jake. It's okay. I was just leaving anyway. I've got to cook dinner for Charlie and…." I trailed off, not having another halfway decent excuse for leaving.

"Oh. Okay. See you later, Bells." Yeah, later, whenever that was.

"Bye Jake. Bye Renesemee." My goodbyes sounded like whispers as I walked out the door, their blissful voices fading with the distance, leaving me to wallow in my misery.

**SONG: Long Distance by Brandy**

**Review please! They make my day!**


	4. Crash And Burn

**The courses of true love never did run smooth  
--William Shakespeare**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. Sorry. Sorry for any typing/grammar errors on here. I'm trying to fix that.**

I drove back home, blinking back tears the entire ride home. I wouldn't stay here any longer, watching them be happy with their lives. I didn't know what I would do. I couldn't think it through either.

I made back too soon. My tears hadn't stopped and I looked horrible. Charlie would be asking questions tonight. Would I be able to answer them? _Oh, you know, Charlie, that Jake is a werewolf, right? Yeah, see he kind of imprinted on this girl and can't stay away from her. So now, I'm going to sit on the sidelines watching their happily ever after._

I turned off the engine off my truck before it could give me away. I needed some time to plan a response for Charlie. I didn't know how long I was out there, but shadows began to grow and the sun began to set. My sun had set. It began to get cold in my ancient truck, so I reluctantly opened the door and went in too make dinner for Charlie.

How could I pretend that everything was fine when it wasn't? I went through normal actions, trying to fool my dad. He wasn't the most observant person out there, but he wasn't stupid either.

Dinner was finished, chicken enchiladas. Charlie had perfect timing, a nose for food. "Dad, dinner's ready." I wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.

"Smells good, Bells." I didn't know how Charlie could have lived for the seventeen years before I got here. All he ate was pizza and take out Chinese. I thought he would end up having a heart attack like his good friend Harry.

"Bella, you okay? I've called you almost five times. Something on your mind?" I was in the middle of planning my escape tonight. I wasn't staying any longer that necessary. I wasn't going to put myself through any more pain this week.

"Dad, I want to leave. I don't want to stay here anymore." I felt bad, using the 'I-don't-like-it-here-anymore' line my mother used, but I was desperate. He wouldn't let me go if I told him the real reason. No father would. But my father, police chief of Forks, would go and get every officer out there after Jake if I told him the real reason. I didn't have Jake anymore, but that didn't mean I didn't want someone else to have him.

"Why? I thought you liked it here. What about Jake?" I involuntarily flinched when he said Jacob's name and he jumped to conclusions. "What did he do to you? Are you hurt? Tell me what he did and I swear he'll regret it!"

"Dad! Calm down! He didn't do anything! He found a girlfriend, that's all." Girlfriend, more like lifelong soul mate. "I just don't like it here in Forks as much as I thought I did. People can change their minds."

"But not you! I know my own daughter. You stick with your decisions, even when you hate them. You're so stubborn that no one can sway you! Why do you want to leave all of the sudden?" He looked at me, expectant.

"I'm not sure, Dad. But I can't take it here anymore. I don't want to settle down here. It's not me. Dad, I'm leaving, tonight."

"Isabella! You will do no such thing! It's late and getting dark. At least wait until tomorrow and think it through. You don't mean it right now!"

"But I do mean it. I meant all of it. I love you, Dad, but I don't love it here. I don't see how you can either." He knew what I meant. How could he keep looking around, seeing the memories of what should have been if he just went after her?

"Bella, you can't leave." His resolve was wearing down. He knew he was losing. I was leaving without or without him, and if he wanted a proper good bye, then he better agree with me. "You can't leave with nothing."

"I have some things, Dad. I have my truck, and my savings. I know you'll always be here and I'll come back as soon as I need, or want, to. I promise I'll stay in touch and you'll know where I am, but I can't stay here!" He looked defeated.

"Okay, Bella. I can't stop you. I need you to know that I'll always be here. You can come home any time and make sure I know where you are. If you go missing, Ill have everyone out looking for you."

"Thank you, Dad. I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me, too." I rushed while I was putting the plates in the sink and clearing the table. Me, being me, tripped multiple times and took even longer than usual to get everything done. I raced upstairs to pack what little things I had brought with me; a picture of the three of us when I was younger, my iPod, a few pairs of clothes, and my sock that was always filled with some amount of money.

I threw my things in the car and walked back inside to say goodbye to Charlie. It was awkward to say the least. Charlie and I were never ones for expressing our emotions. "Bye, Bella. I'll be waiting for you to come back." Those were the words that haunted me, along with all other goodbyes, on my car ride to nowhere.

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I drove. That's all I did. I didn't think, didn't remember, and didn't plan. Just drove. What else was there for me to do? I hadn't kept track of time. I only stopped when I the car needed gas and when my hunger got the best of me.

I called Charlie everyday on the cell phone he had given me for emergencies. He knew I was safe, well not dead at least. I wasn't dead in that sense. I still moved, breathed, ate, slept. But I wasn't Bella. I was robotic, answering to no one, not even myself.

I slept in my car, not wanting to waste any of my dwindling supply of cash. Sometimes, when I thought I was in control, I thought about the times when life was so much simpler, when I only had to worry about what I would eat in the morning.

My control wasn't that great though. Often, I ended up having to pull over because I couldn't see through my tears or the hole that used to be my chest was throbbing much to painfully for me to even consider driving.

I didn't know how far I'd gotten. I knew I'd been driving north the entire time, but I had no idea whether I was in Canada or about to drive off the edge of a cliff. The further I drove, the colder it got. I don't think my heater could take much more of it. My Chevy, which should be used as a tribute to all other ancient trucks around the world, was just about worn out.

I couldn't focus on driving. My mind had other things to think about, unpleasant things that I shouldn't be thinking, but at the same time didn't want to stop thinking about. Multiple times I had to swerve out of the way of on-coming trucks that were about to run me over.

The clock in my car let me know it was 3:30 in the morning. No one was on the road, so I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been. Granted, no one should be up at 3 in the morning, let alone driving around the world, well as far as a I could go in a truck. I didn't see it coming when a small, silver Volvo came out of nowhere and crashed into me.

Glass was everywhere. Both of our cars were totaled. My vision was blurring, but I didn't want to let the darkness win yet. I couldn't move, everything hurt when I did. We both should have been dead. I was lucky I was still breathing. The person from the other car was up and rung towards me, a worried expression on their face.

He was saying something. I didn't know what. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything either. Come to think of it, I can barely see any either.

The blackness was winning, slowly creeping over what was left of my vision. I last thing I saw was the Greek god helping me in whatever way he could.

**SONG: State to State by The Goodnight Anthem**

**Thanks to Sendmeonmyway for letting me use her idea for a crash. You guys should check out her story, ****My Favorite Accident****. It's really good. But wait until after you review, of course!**


	5. Keep Me Wondering

**Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. ****  
****--Helen Rowland**

**So... Jake and everyone are the way they were, but Twilight never happened, it's like starting over. Just thought I would clear somethings.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.**

Edward's POV

Would they ever give it a rest? The entire family was at it! I guess there was nothing else to do at night, seeing as we didn't sleep. I just couldn't take it anymore. There was too much love in that house, too much companionship.

I knew they were worried about me not having anyone. But to be honest, I was perfectly fine. I didn't anyone. I was myself, and that was enough, right? But lately, I had been questioning things.

Even the humans, who had only lived for a short amount of time, had found someone to spend their forever with. I had been here for over 100 years and never found anyone. Didn't that mean I proved I didn't anyone? Or did it prove that opposite – that I couldn't find anyone? I didn't know.

None of the humans attracted my attention, though. And the others of my kind, well, they weren't exactly what I would call friendly. I couldn't be sure. Maybe it was I. Maybe there was something wrong with me, a curse, as you could say, put on me, damned to eternity with no one.

How else would I be here? I was a monster, a creation against the will of God. I didn't have a soul anymore. Did that mean I couldn't love anymore? No, it didn't, otherwise the rest of my family would be just as alone as I was. So then it was me. There was something wrong with me.

I couldn't stand to be in that house anymore, so I took a drive. I drove over twice the legal limit, but who was there, in the middle of nowhere Alaska, to stop me? It was night, the humans would spend it sleeping, wasting away half of their lives sleeping. And I had all of my existence not sleeping. Fair enough. It was punishment to suffer through this, what I've been created, day _and_ night and not get any time of unconsciousness.

Alaska. Who in their right human mind would move here for fun? There was nothing to do, nothing to help pass the time. More punishment. Was there no end to this? Have I been such a monster that I deserved to stay here forever? I certainly hope not.

I wasn't paying attention to anything I was doing; I was to engrossed in my thoughts. If I had been paying any attention at all, I would have seen it before I smashed into it. A truck. An old, red Chevy that looked like it wouldn't run anymore. I was pulled over to the side and I could no one inside. Maybe it was abandoned. I could tell why.

But it wasn't. And I crashed right into it. I smelt her before I even got out of the car all the way, such an alluring scent. The monster in my head roared, delighted at the chance at such a quick, easy meal. I wanted to give in, wanted to taste her. But Carlisle's face showed in front of me. I couldn't let him down.

I stopped breathing for the time being. I couldn't smell that again without going after it. There was a girl in that car, no older than eighteen, curled into a ball on the seat. What the hell was she doing out here at 3 in the morning? Didn't she know it was dangerous? Of course she didn't, we kept ourselves hidden well.

She was bleeding profusely. There wasn't much time until she died of blood loss. I ran over, at my speed, absolutely sure she wouldn't notice anything. She was unconscious by the look of it. I gently lifted her, unsure if anything was broken, and ran her to my car. I took a blanket, like I needed it, and ripped it into shreds to help stop the bleeding. It didn't seem to work very well.

Who was she? How did she get here? I took a breath, thinking her scent couldn't be worse than it was out there, surrounded by so much of it. But inside this small cab, it was worse. Her appealing scent hit me ten times harder than that of a wrecking ball. Venom pooled in my mouth and the monster I had reeled back had sprung to life again.

It seemed to me like she was trying to ruin everything Carlisle had built for me, like she was sent to test me, knowing I would fail. But I wouldn't. Carlisle had tried too hard for me to ruin it for all of them.

So I held my breath the entire ride back and thought of all the violent ways I could kill her. She was already near dead; it wouldn't take too long, unconscious too. She wouldn't feel a thing. But I didn't want to kill her in my car. I could never ride in it again.

So I got through the ride carefully thinking of things I could never do. I couldn't see how one human could cause me this much pain. I thought it was wrong. It went against nature. _Like you._ A voice in my head said. Of course, everything about me went against nature.

But this girl! Here I was tortured by her scent, trying to think of ways to kill her, wondering if anyone would miss her, and I couldn't get nay information from her brain. It was as if she wasn't there. But she was! I could smell the blood, tantalizing me from the back seat. She was obviously there, obviously thinking something. But I could hear her!

It was amazingly infuriating. Her mind took _my_ mind of off killing her for a while. I hadn't realized I'd driven so far in so little time. Now all I wanted to was get back to the house and have Carlisle take of her. I needed to hunt. Now.

I saw the house in the distance, a small speck rapidly turning into a house. I sped up, going a record speed for me. All of the lights were on and it was silent, a first for nighttime.

I carried the girl into Carlisle's study, walking past the entire family on my way. I didn't bother listening to their thoughts. I only cared about getting this girl, for I still had no idea what her name was, to stop bleeding and feeling better. I had the strangest urge to make any pain she felt go away and I didn't know how to handle it.

Carlisle walked in behind me, already in doctor mode. _She doesn't look too bad, maybe a broken leg, bruised all over. How did this happen Edward?_

"I wasn't thinking and she was in the road. I don't think she was even…right before I was there. She looked like she had been there awhile." Who knew how long?

Hmm… she seems okay. Not in the best shape, but she'll be fine. How did you get her back here? Jasper said he could feel your thirst far away.

I spent a while answering his questions while he tended to her injuries. He came to the questions I wanted answers to myself.

Do you know anything about her? How did she get there? It's Alaska at 3 a.m. I hope her family won't worry about her too much. Can you tell me who they are? I think I should call them.

"I can answer any of those. I have no clue what she's thinking. A first." Naturally. There was a first for everything.

_Amazing. I hope she recovers soon. I would love to talk to her some. _The way he phrased it made it seem he wanted to talk to her about us.

"Carlisle, I hope you aren't planning on letting her stay here for longer than necessary. I think I would have to leave. I can't… handle her well." No need to tell him whenever I was around her the monster flared like he had just found the most delicious dessert.

"Don't worry, I don't think I will. I just want to know enough about her, make sure she'll be okay. I don't think it would be kind to send her out with nowhere to go."

EDWARD! She'll wake up soon! I can't wait! Maybe we can go shopping before she leaves. Ooohhh! I know just what to get her!

Thank you, Alice. I turned to look at her, the girl who had me confused, amazed, and angry at the same time. Her eyes started fluttering and she had the most beautiful, chocolate brown I had ever seen. She seemed confused, expected of course. She looked around, noticing Carlisle and me for the first time.

"W-Where am I? How long have I been here?"

"You're in my house. I am Doctor Cullen. You've only been here for a few hours."

"Where exactly is your house?" I don't think she knew exactly how far she had driven.

"Alaska." Carlisle seemed worried.

"Alaska! How – What – Charlie! He's going to be so mad! Do you have a phone I could use? I need to tell my dad I'm okay." Carlisle walked over to the desk and gave the phone to the girl.

"What's your name?" I asked her. I needed to stop calling her 'that girl'.

"Bella. I'm from Washington. How did I get this far?" She was mumbling to herself by the end.

"I'm… going to call my dad now. Thank you, by the way, for finding me."

"You welcome." Carlisle said, and we walked out of the room together. I was eavesdropping on her conversation, not really like I had a choice, but I wanted to. I seemed like her father wasn't too happy and wanted her to come home. I wonder why she left in the first place. Did something happen?

"No, Dad. I can't go home yet. I'm not…ready. Dad he'll still be there. I can't handle that right now." At the mention of a man, Rosalie tensed. We had no idea what happened to her, but it looked bad. Maybe it wasn't, maybe there was some hope for her.

"No, Dad. I'm fine. I'm with a doctor. I don't know. Yes, I'll call you later. Okay, love you too, Dad. Bye." Carlisle had walked into the room again to help her with her wounds.

"I couldn't help but overhear the end of your conversation. Was something wrong?"

"No, everything's okay. My dad just wanted me to come home. I'm fine though. Thank you for everything. Oh! How bad am I hurt?" I hadn't thought about that.

"Not too bad. You have a bruised rib and some cuts. Everything will heal."

"I've had worse." Rosalie tensed again. "The ER practically knows everything about me. I'm the world's biggest klutz." She confused me. She would always say the thing you least expected, and I couldn't expect anything.

I abruptly, and oddly, found myself wanting to know everything about her.

Song: You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson

**There is another chapter! Review please! They keep me writing. **


	6. Recap

**Hey guys. I am so sorry for not updating. I've had tests and doctors and life to work on. I've also had major writer's block. So, I have no clue what to do with this chapter. I've had it planned, but it's going a different direction. So, read what I've written so far, and review if you have any ideas. I'm also looking for a beta if any you care to help. So, read on.**

Bella's POV

My head was pounding. Every breath hurt. My eyelids felt too heavy, like they had lead weights on them. I knew I wasn't alone. I could hear them.

"Don't worry, I don't think I will. I just want to know enough about her, make sure she'll be okay. I don't think it would be kind to send her out with nowhere to go." Send me out? Where the hell was I? Who was speaking?

I had to work for it, but I finally got my eyes to open. I glanced around quickly, not bothering to look at the people near me. The room was beautiful, light and airy. It looked as if it belonged in one of those 'Finest Homes' magazines. It was stunning, but how did I get here? I was in my stupid, good for nothing, almost broken down car. So how could I have gotten here?

"W-Where am I? How long have I been here?" The pounding got worse with the light of the room. It hurt to think straight.

"You're in my home. My name is Carlisle Cullen. You've only been here for a few hours.

"Oh. Where exactly is your house?" Last time I checked, I was somewhere in southern Canada. Who knew how far they could've taken me in the time I was… unconscious.

"Alaska." The man said.

"Alaska! How – What – Charlie!" He is going to freak! I haven't called him since I crossed the border into Canada. "He's going to be so mad! Do you have a phone I could use? I need to tell my dad I'm okay." The man I had been talking to walked over to the desk and came back with the phone.

The other man, or boy, whom I had not seen standing there, asked me for my name. "Bella. I'm from Washington. How did I get this far?" I was questioning myself. "I'm… going to call my dad now. Thank you, by the way, for finding me." I had to be polite. What had I been doing before this?

"You're very welcome." The man said, and they both walked out of the room. While I dialed, I tried to think of something to say to Charlie.

"Hello?" Charlie's exhausted voice mumbled.

"Dad! It's me. I know I haven't called but-"

"Bella! Where are you? You need to come home! I've been looking for you everywhere."

"No, Dad. I can't go home yet. I'm not…ready." I wasn't. How could back there to watch everyone else's happiness? He mumbled something about Jake being the cause for me not coming home.

"Dad, he'll still be there. I don't think I could handle that now." He told me to make sure I was safe before he continued talking about coming home. "No, Dad, I'm fine. Look, I'm with a doctor. Yes, I'll call you later." He said good-bye and to come back soon. The man walked back in the room near the end of my conversation.

"I couldn't help but overhear the end of your conversation. Was something wrong?" He was worried about me? I didn't even know him.

"Thank you for everything. No, everything's okay. My dad just wanted me to come home. I'm fine though. Oh! How bad am I hurt?" With worrying about Charlie, I hadn't thought about the pain I was in, or where it came from.

"Not too bad. You have a bruised rib and some deep cuts. Everything will heal." Cuts and bruises. Most of those were probably from before I came here anyway.

"I've had worse. The ER knows I practically live there. I'm the world's biggest klutz." It was true. I couldn't go a single day without tripping over something. "How did I get here? I mean, why am I hurt?" I couldn't remember. I was in the car one moment and the next I was here.

"You don't remember?" Mr. Cullen, I think that was his name, asked.

"No, I just remember being in my car. Was I in a crash?" If I was, then how was I not in a hospital? "What time is it?" I asked, not waiting for an answer to my other question.

"Five in the morning. Bella, I think you need some rest. You've been unconscious for a while and I don't know how your body will react." Rest. That's all anyone's ever told me I needed. I don't need it. I want to move on, keep going.

"I'm really okay, Dr. Cullen." Just that I can feel my pulse in my head, ribs feel like crap, and the hole in my chest is flaring back up. Perfectly fine.

"Bella," The boy was speaking now, "What were you doing – out there, in the middle of the night?"

"I… Uh…I didn't really know it was the middle of the night and I was just driving around. I really didn't think I would end up in Alaska." I couldn't think of a better excuse. Maybe I could tell them, "Oh, you see, my friend Jake, who's a werewolf, imprinted on some girl and now I'm running away, although I have no clue why." Yeah, great.


End file.
